. . a journey of life . .

have you ever feel like you are losing yourself, like you don't know where to go, what you want to do, and have no idea about your future?

Well I did.  

In fact, for a several times.

I always think life is just a journey, the decisions we take are the turns along our way.
We all have destinations for this journey, our own dreams, our goals, or our own life purposes, you name it. Some decisions will make us closer to our goal, and some will make us further from it. But truth be told, most of the times, we don't know which one is which.

Same as a normal journey, sometimes we also get lost in life. We are just too confused to move on. We have no idea whether we have to keep going, turn left, turn right, make a u turn, or just to stay where we are. This confusion only gets worse when we know (or we assume that) we are lost, we start to panic and overthink everything.

Most of the people will start to ask people around when they are lost. Hoping the people they meet on their way know the right direction to go. 
Chances are :
A. If they are lucky, they meet those people who know exactly where to go and give them a good guidance. 
B. Or they can meet those people who don't know the direction but being honest and telling them that they don't know.
C. Worst case, if they are unlucky, there are always some people who don't know the direction, but telling guidance like they know everything.

Life is also like that. 
When you ask people around you, what to do in your life, you can get either A, B, or C. 
And obviously, you can't tell the difference between A, B, or C until you actually go to that direction and see the result for yourself.
Unfortunately, in this journey of life, nobody actually knows for sure which direction to go to reach your goal. Unlike a normal journey, there is no map to reach your goal. Simply because the journey has never been done, not by you, not by anyone else.
So the odds to get A is nearly ZERO.

And now you are probably wondering what is my point.
The point is, don't listen to anybody for the important decisions in your life!
You can ask around for opinion, but always believe in yourself. The choices are yours!!
You are the one living with the consequences, not them!!

If, by any chances, you feel like you are losing yourself, the best thing to do is just to stop for a while, and enjoy the scenery while it lasts. 
Most of the time, you are not actually lost, you are in the right track but just unsure that you are. And to make things sound better, our destination seems to change a lot during our journey. :)

Last but not least, whether you are lost or not, since it is a journey, it is always nice to have a good company. =)
And lucky for me, I've got the best company in this chapter of life! =D
I call her "tacan".

cheeeeeeeeeeerz~


"Life to me is a journey - you never know what may be your next destination"

*sekelumit curcol di tengah malam*

Banyak temen-temen yang nanya ke gw, "enak gak sih kerja kaya lu gitu?"
Buat yang belum tau, mungkin gw ceritain dikit tentang kerjaan gw beberapa taun terakhir.

Gw lulus dari BiNus taun 2009, trus gw mulai kerja di Jakarta, tadinya sih gw nyari kerjaan yang berbau SAP, tapi ternyata cari kerjaan SAP itu ga gampang cuy !!
Ada sih beberapa kerjaan Junior Consultant SAP yang gw dapet waktu itu, tapi gila aja kontraknya minimal 4 taun !! Dan kalo putusin kontrak, dendanya waktu itu ga main-main, 250-500 juta !!
Jelas aja gw ngeper dan akhirnya memilih buat banting stir....

Alhasil, gw akhirnya ambil kerjaan jadi Technical ERP Consultant, gajinya bisa dibilang cukup oke buat fresh grad waktu itu. Tapi ternyata, kerja di Jakarta gak bisa bikin gw bangga. Bukan gw ngejelekin kerja di Jakarta ato apa, tapi gw merasa gw buang-buang waktu kalo terus menerus bersarang di Jakarta... Gw butuh sesuatu yang baru!!

Pas setaun dari hari pertama gw kerja di company itu, gw mutusin buat bikin perjalanan baru. Gw mutusin ga mau lanjutin kontrak gw di company itu dan cari tantangan baru.
Singapore.
Itu negara yang pertama kali terlintas di otak gw waktu gw mikir gw butuh tantangan baru. Gw memang bukan tipe orang yang suka tinggal lama satu tempat.

Jadi pergilah gw ke Singapore, dengan modal nekad. Kebetulan di Singapore gw dapet tempat tinggal yang isinya orang Indo yang friendly and supportive. Sampe sekarang gw masi anggep mereka sodara gw sendiri, karena memang gw akuin gw utang budi sama mereka. 

Dewi Fortuna ada di pihak gw waktu itu. Ga butuh waktu lama buat gw bisa dapetin kerjaan yang lumayan bergengsi di Singapore. Raffles Place. Masih keinget jelas di otak gw, gimana merindingnya gw waktu pertama kali gw dateng ke tempat itu. Salah satu main business district di Singapore yang isinya gedung-gedung pencakar langit dan penuh sama ekspat-ekspat pake baju rapi dan jas. Jelas sebuah tempat kerja impian banyak orang.
Pertama kali gw dateng ke Raffles Place, gw meyakinkan diri gw, "gw harus bisa ngerasain kerja di tempat ini !!"

Singkat cerita, gw emang diterima di salah satu company di Raffles Place, agak samar samar di otak gw masi ada sisa kebahagiaan waktu denger gw keterima kerja di sana. Suatu impian yang terlalu cepat tercapai. Bukan cuman gw kerja di tempat yang bergengsi, tapi gw juga dapet kesempatan kerja bareng orang-orang dari seluru penjuru dunia. Bahkan gw sempet ngehandle salah satu company FMCG paling berpengaruh di Asia, Unilever.

Ga terhitung banyaknya pengalaman yang gw dapetin dari sana. Yang jelas-jelas ga bakalan gw dapetin kalo gw stay di Jakarta dan menikmati kenyamanan yang ada.

Berselang setaun dari kepindahan gw ke Singapore, gw pindah lagi ke Malaysia. Tepatnya di Kuala Lumpur, sekitar 5 menit dari Petronas Twin Tower.
Hidup di sini jauh beda kalo dibandingin waktu di SG. Di sini gw tinggal sendiri, bahkan 2 bulan pertama gw di KL, gw sempet tinggal di hotel. Ya, di hotel.
Sekarang gw tinggal di studio apartment, sebatang kara, jauh dari rumah n smua temen-temen gw.
Tapi lagi-lagi, di sini gw banyak belajar arti kehidupan n kemandirian.

Sampe kapan gw di sini, gw sendiri masih ga tau. Tapi ada kemungkinan dalam waktu deket ini gw bakalan menjelajah beberapa negara asean lain, and kabar terakhir yang gw denger sih gw bakalan dikirim ke Korea buat beberapa bulan. =D


Oke, jadi balik ke pertanyaan yang tadi, enak gak sih kerja kayak gw gini?
Jujur, berhubung gw suka hal baru and petualangan, gw masih enjoy sama kehidupan yang serba loncat-loncat dan ga jelas ini. Banyak pengalaman yang ga bakalan gw dapet seandainya gw terus bersarang di satu tempat. Tapi jelas, banyak juga yang gw korbanin demi memuaskan hasrat petualangan gw ini. Ninggalin keluarga and temen-temen itu gak gampang! Keluar dari zona nyaman itu jelas berat !!
Ga jarang gw ngerasa kesepian dan sendiri. Tapi justru itu yang bikin perjuangan gw terus berlanjut, udah banyak yang gw korbanin demi petualangan ini, so I have to make my every single move counts!

Oh well btw, gw besok balek ke Jakarta.
So yeah, i'll see you tomorrow guys !! :D

"the worst part of being alone is not when you're sad. its when you're happy but you have nobody to share it with."

## WARNING : OFFENSIVE CONTENT ##
Read at your own risk. :D

Do you believe in God?
What is God?
How do you define life?
How do you describe a meaningful life?
What do you think about 'impossible'?

A lot of these kind of questions has been wandering around our mind, or at least my mind.
And finally I found the key to an answer that makes me comfortable enough to go on with my life.

I believe the answers to those questions are really based on one's awareness.
And apparently, there are five levels of awareness, described as follows:

1. First level of awareness, you understand that you exist. All of us got this awareness by default at birth, that is the first experience of this awareness.

2. Second level is when you understand other people exist. You believe most of what you are told by
authority figures. You accept the belief system in which you are raised. You never doubt, you just believe, or some people say : faith.

3. At the third level of awareness you recognize that humans are often wrong about the things they believe. You feel that you might be wrong about some of your own beliefs but you don’t know which ones. Despite your doubts, you still find comfort in your beliefs.

4. The fourth level is skepticism. You believe the scientific method is the best measure of what is true and you believe you have a good working grasp of truth, thanks to science, your logic, and your senses. You are arrogant when it comes to dealing with people in level two and three.

5. The fifth level of awareness is the Avatar. The Avatar understands that the mind is an illusion generator, not a window to reality. The Avatar recognizes science as an another belief system, albeit a useful one. An Avatar is aware of God’s power as expressed in probability and the inevitable recombination of God consciousness.

Given those 5 levels of awareness, where are you now?
Be careful in playing around with your awareness, once you step into another level of awareness, you will see life in a totally different perspective, and sometimes it reduces the fun. :D

And by the way, those numbering doesn't mean anything. There is no good thing or bad thing in each level, the differences are only in the usefulness. And each level has the same potential for being useful. And to make you feel better if you still think the number is important, MOST of the greatest leaders in the world were in second level. :)

Happy Sunday !

-- inspired by God's Debris

whoaaahhh.... buset...!!
ga berasa ternyata uda ampir setaun, lebi tepatnya 9 bulan, gw ga nulis di blog ini...
9 bulan !! *oh engga, gw ga hamil koq...*
and it feels just like yesterday that i did write some stuffs here...

Oh well, itulah hidup !
Waktu berasa hilang gitu aja, entah ke mana. Semua rasanya baru kemaren.
Rasanya baru kemaren gw dateng ke KL dengan membawa mimpi seorang anak yang buta akan arti kehidupan, ternyata kalo diitung-itung, uda 11 bulan gw tinggal di sini..
Ngapain aja ya gw 11 bulan ini? Pertanyaan yang bahkan google juga ga bisa jawab, apalagi gw...!


Tapi itulah cara kerja otak nyimpen memory...
By default, ada batas waktu otak nyimpen informasi, alias ada expiry date nya. Nah, expiry date ini, menurut para ahli otak, berdasarkan prioritas penting atau enggaknya informasi/kejadian itu. Makin penting informasi/kejadian itu, makin lama informasi/kejadian itu bakalan stay di otak.

Kalo gitu, orang pelupa berarti orang yang nganggep semuanya ga penting donk?
Emang bisa secara kasar disimpulin kaya gitu, tapi sebenernya penting enggaknya informasi itu, yang nentuin adalah alam bawah sadar kita, bukan alam sadar kita (yahh, beberapa perusahaan obat bilang tergantung kadar ginkgo biloba di dalam otak xD).
Lucunya, alam bawah sadar kita nentuin penting enggaknya suatu kejadian berdasarkan seberapa sering kita melakukan hal itu.
Semakin sering kita ngelakuin hal yang sama, semakin cepet dilupain sama otak. Ga percaya? Coba inget-inget dengan detil kejadian lu buka pintu kamar lu dua hari yang lalu......

(sementara lu lagi berusaha sekuat tenaga nginget-inget, gw lanjutin dulu ngedongengnya..)

Di sisi laen, ternyata, otak hampir bisa terus terusan inget kejadian yang jarang terjadi dalam hidup kita! Alias hal hal yang baru dan berkesan di hidup kita.
Kenangan-kenangan yang special inilah yang bikin otak kita bisa ngerasa waktu ga ilang gitu aja.
Belajar sesuatu yang baru juga bikin memori yang membekas di otak.

Jadiiiiiiiiiiii.......
Biar hidup terasa lebih panjang dan waktu kita ga berasa ilang gitu aja, sering sering belajar sesuatu yang baru, apapun itu, dan bikin hidup kita lebih menarik !! =D

cheerz~~~~